Weeks 2-12

I wanted to keep a journal of my pregnancy as it has been everything but what I expected. The first trimester brought many trials as I was literally sick every.single. day. It was almost torture. I was so depressed and sad as my hormones were on a roller coaster ride. I lived from day to day hoping and praying I would wake up feeling better than the day before. We took a few trips to the ER because I was so dehydrated from puking my guts out!it was during that first ER trip that we found out we were having twins! We got home that night and Nate wept with joy at the awesome blessing the Lord gave us. (I still needed some time to process at this point!!)

 I searched scripture, listened to music and read blogs to find some peace about my situation. I felt like no one understood. It was beyond morning sickness...there was no going to work or even lifting my head off the pillows. Spiritually, it was a dark time for me as I just couldn't understand what the Lord was doing. He gave us the desire for a child, but yet there was no joy. I remember some desperate prayers asking the Lord to take my child because I was so sick. At the same time, I had never felt so close to Jesus. He was all I had. I wrestled with my thoughts and desires throughout the day, but ultimately I found peace in Psalm 62:5-8 and a song "My Hope is Built."

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

 my hope comes from him. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation; 

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 

My salvation and my honor depend on God; 

he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 

Trust in him at all times, O people; 

pour out your hearts to him,for God is our refuge. "Selah" 

Thankfully, I turned the corner at the end of this first trimester. However, I wasn't out of the woods. During this time, Nate was (and still is!) incredible. He would take care of our business, my students and me. Every night he would come home to a wife hardly able to hold herself together. He loved me well through those depressed weeks.

This is a picture from our 9 week ultrasound...already the cutest babies Ive ever seen:)