2 months flying by!

Where is the time going? Can't believe our little ladies are two months old! The girls are a little more responsive to us, but we are still so very overwhelmed. We are so grateful to my parents who help us out more than we could have ever asked for. Plus, they get to see their grandbabies every day so its not a bad deal;)

One month down

The girls turned one month old on November 18th. This month has flown by!! We love these little girls!

Week 37

Although most of my pregnancy was rough, we had periods of overwhelming joy that two precious baby girls would be joining our family. At week 33 I went into preterm labor and was put on bed rest. By the time we got to 37 weeks my blood pressure was dangerously high and they decided to start the induction process on October 18 (my due date wasn't until November 10). Below is the last belly picture we took. We had gone to the hospital at 7pm for a non stress test and they decided then they would induce me the next day. We hadn't had dinner and we didn't have our bags so at 11pm they sent us home to get our bags and get something to eat. My last meal was buffalo cheese fries and I did not regret it! While we ate our last meal together as just the two of us I was a total mess thinking how excited, scared and nervous we were to bring these girlies home. We prayed so hard for a safe delivery and it was at that moment I felt complete peace about the whole process that was going to take place the next morning.

Holy cow i was huge!! I really don't remember being this big...although I have beautiful stretch marks now to prove it. 

Weeks 13-35

Now that the days of having a big belly, weird food cravings, 24/7 nausea, the phrase "wow due any day?" when I was 30 weeks pregnant, and complete exhaustion are over I kind of miss being pregant. It was no where near as glamourous as I had hoped, but my babies were well taken care of in there. They didnt cry, they didnt need me in the way they do now, it was the best home for them at that time (and I could literally lay in bed all day with no one needing my attention). Here are some memorable pictures from my pregnancy:

    

Weeks 2-12

I wanted to keep a journal of my pregnancy as it has been everything but what I expected. The first trimester brought many trials as I was literally sick every.single. day. It was almost torture. I was so depressed and sad as my hormones were on a roller coaster ride. I lived from day to day hoping and praying I would wake up feeling better than the day before. We took a few trips to the ER because I was so dehydrated from puking my guts out!it was during that first ER trip that we found out we were having twins! We got home that night and Nate wept with joy at the awesome blessing the Lord gave us. (I still needed some time to process at this point!!)

 I searched scripture, listened to music and read blogs to find some peace about my situation. I felt like no one understood. It was beyond morning sickness...there was no going to work or even lifting my head off the pillows. Spiritually, it was a dark time for me as I just couldn't understand what the Lord was doing. He gave us the desire for a child, but yet there was no joy. I remember some desperate prayers asking the Lord to take my child because I was so sick. At the same time, I had never felt so close to Jesus. He was all I had. I wrestled with my thoughts and desires throughout the day, but ultimately I found peace in Psalm 62:5-8 and a song "My Hope is Built."

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

 my hope comes from him. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation; 

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 

My salvation and my honor depend on God; 

he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 

Trust in him at all times, O people; 

pour out your hearts to him,for God is our refuge. "Selah" 

Thankfully, I turned the corner at the end of this first trimester. However, I wasn't out of the woods. During this time, Nate was (and still is!) incredible. He would take care of our business, my students and me. Every night he would come home to a wife hardly able to hold herself together. He loved me well through those depressed weeks.

This is a picture from our 9 week ultrasound...already the cutest babies Ive ever seen:)

The post I've been meaning to write for the past 6 months

For the past 6 months I have been telling Nate I want to get back to my blog. There has been so many cool things happening in our life that I don't want to forget the incredible ways Ive seen God move. He has used the past year to shape and mold my breaking heart to make me more like Him. It wasn't an easy road and I know there's a lot more instore. From August-February this year we pleaded with the Lord for a child. Well, I pleaded with the Lord-Nate continued to be my rock and encouraged me that this is not our plan rather the Lords and He would Bless us with a child when He saw fit. This was an incredibly trying time for me. I know I cannot begin to relate to those who have tried for long extended amounts of time or who have been faced with infertility however the Lord used this -now looking back- short time in our lives to draw us closer to each other and closer to Him. We are excited for this time in our lives and cannot wait to meet our little baby girls. They have no idea how much they are loved already:)